JOKES: Top 5 “Best” & Top 5 “Best Left to the Professionals”

Current Events, Event Planning

One of the excellent things about working with professional comedians is experiencing the wide range of jokes and humor they bring to every production on “Toast Boast Roast Comedy” and “Event Laughers”. Fair to say that there are more than a few “core” jokes that everyone knows and may have even started their careers with, and a lot of those jokes are the basis for every comic going off in new directions to create an entirely new joke.

Having produced so many of our comics content for event planners, meeting planners and convention specialists, it got me to wondering about the best jokes and those that are best left in the hands of those who know what they’re doing. I won’t say “worst” jokes because that’s unfair to the process. Every joke has a lineage and amuses someone, but some of them are more core “building blocks” of new jokes than actual humor themselves. They have evolved from the original joke, and in their original form are more template than actual joke. It’s the issue of being used over and over and OVER again to leave them now more “ad nauseam” than anything else. This is why I make the point there are those who really need to be in the hands of professionals.

In other words, there are some jokes you simply should not try at home.

So after extensive research, hearing thousands of jokes and comments from the professionals, here is the completely unscientific, (and definitely not final) laughers and groaners. I’ll leave them without any additional commentary so as not to be a “spoiler”.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

2. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.

3. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it was two-tired.

5. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Here you can see the structure of so many jokes and performances we experience today. The classic misdirection, double-entendres, obvious responses that would seem to make so much sense if we’re not trying desperately to see the “trick” in the joke, the play on words and the “you should have seen that coming”. That’s why while these may not be the uproarious style of joke we hear today, the basic core of humor resides in them all. It’s then a matter of how the comic uses them, and that’s where the brilliance of the professional comes into play.

On the other side of this laughing coin, there comes those jokes that while not “the worst”, they do in a lot of cases deserve a good, long, well-earned, “let’s stop all the groaning” rest. The key here is whom is telling the jokes. Again, you’ll see and hear a lot of current jokes at the core of these themes, but they need to be used only by the professionals. It’s akin to having someone read a book on baking cookies and then seeking to perform brain surgery.


1. Dad Jokes
“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down”.

2. Knock-Knock Jokes
“Knock-knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Hey, don’t cry, it’s only a joke”.

3. Bad Puns
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised”.

4. Blonde Jokes
“ Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container? It said ‘concentrate’.”

5. Light bulb Jokes
“How many [insert profession/group here] does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it takes five to complain about how the old one was better”.

What you see here are some of the real classics, but they have been used and overused by so many amateurs, they’ve lost their zip. Comedians today still use the rapid fire shots, and those who are good at it really do excel. But most comedians of today are conversationalists and story-tellers, which is why if these jokes are used, they truly need to be in the hands of a master.

In these jokes I hear bits from Rodney Dangerfield, Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers, and especially Don Rickles. In their basic form, they might be more groaner than laugher. In the hands of the pros, they have new life breathed into them, sounding fresh and dropping more than a few laughs. You’ll even hear echos of them in a number of current sitcoms, where the jokes have to come fast and furious in a short span of allotted time.

End of the day, it’s still up to the individual as to what is funny. However, having someone who calls comedy their craft and stock in trade makes all the difference for events of every size.

The reason why when I host events, I leave the humor to the best there is at what they do.

“Toast Boast Roast Comedy” and “Event Laughers” are the exclusive homes of nationally touring professional comedians who deliver customized comedy to events of every type.